It’s only Tuesday? Seriously?

Tired. Very tired. Managed to get through the day and taught my classes. The 2^nd class went better than the 1^st. Neither were bad, per say. I was a bit unorganized in the 1^st class. And I didn't know there were 2 entrances to my classroom – so I plowed through the desks to get to the front…were there was another door. No big deal. My computer had some issues connecting to the projector, but nothing major. I'm sure I looked nervous. Went through the syllabus, and how to use springboard. Then, I did people bingo. My saving grace. They were looking at me in near-hatred while I was going over syllabus and such, but people bingo was fun

People bingo is an activity I made up to introduce people to one another. Basically, it's a grid with descriptions of people (i.e. someone who is wearing sandals), or what they do (i.e. runner), or a movie they've seen (i.e. dark knight). The rule is that they should try to complete the whole page. It's a whole lot of fun. I get involved too – they always seem surprised when I do. I got the sign the "over 21" square a lot J. Kept them almost the whole time – didn't mean too! Second class went smoother – I was more organized.

Just got back from a run – I really didn't want to come back in, even though I've physically exhausted. I spent most of it thinking about what exactly I'm going to say to my advisor tomorrow about the 'ole dissertation. Yeah, that. I need to look over at what I'm actually doing – I barely remember. Not sure which tactic I'm going to go with – just focus on the semester ahead, or promise to do better and explain all of the stuff going on that has been distracting me from work. Probably should leave out the laziness out of it. No I think I'm just going to focus on the future…forget about the past and my half-assed work and excuses. I'm going to try really hard and just go forward instead of feeling incredibly guilty about being such a schmuck. It's not helping me…but I have a hard time not feeling guilty. Any suggestions to help me not lament on the past and just go forward?

When humor fails

To my advisor, at least. All of my attempts at humor (as a way to break the ice and feel more comfortable) fail miserably. Come on! I'm funny sometimes, or at least I get sympathy laughs! The only time I've gotten a laugh out of him is when I've been serious and not intending to be funny. I like to start meetings with a funny story or a joke. Never works at meeting time. I shouldn't even try anymore; it sucks to look at either a blank face or a look that says "let's just get on with the meeting". Small talk doesn't seem to work either.

Meeting actually went ok – he had sent some comments and suggestions to me a few days ago and I asked questions about them and presented ideas. Questions, understood. Ideas…not so much. I guess I don't explain things very well. Got a lab meeting in a few minutes. Hopefully it won't last long. We haven't made real progress on this study in a long time. We've been working on an idea for a year now. I'm hoping I can limit my involvement. That's kind of a bad attitude to have, but that's how I feel. I'm a 6^th year – I think I'm entitled be bitter. Honestly, I just want to get my dissertation done and get out of here. *sigh*