If you don’t want to read whining and complaining, stop reading here. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

So, I feel quite defeated today. Being a 6^th year, I got booted out of my office and moved to another, more isolated office. I got moved to the counseling side. What happened to seniority? I've been here 5 years already; why should I have to give up my desk? I guess it's meant to be a gentle nudge that I've been here too long (more like a kick in the ass, really). I guess I should feel grateful that I still have an office. My soon-to-be former office is on the main hallway. Thus, people stop by and I can hear the departmental gossip without even leaving my chair. In addition, it has window to outside. It gets too hot or cold, I can open the window. I love my officemates too and don't want to leave (although my new officemates are awesome too…they will never be around though).

New office: kinda on a side hallway. Only near old I/O students like myself and counseling students. Not that I don't like the counseling folks, I just feel so isolated from the I/O happenings. Also, it has only about a quarter of a window…of the atrium. Not an outside window. No temperature control either. Ok, as I'm reading this, I really am whining and should be grateful for an office and stuff, I'm lucky the offices are as nice as they are, blah, blah, blah. I'm still going to pout like a little kid. Try and stop me.

Also, I haven't managed to come up with a dissertation topic in the last three weeks that I haven't met with my advisor. Also, I thought we weren't meeting this week for some reason. Damn. I've been out of town a great deal and have been working a lot on other stuff, but the fact that I've made no progress is really pathetic. I'll probably come up with a half-assed idea (or excuse, if things don't go well) that will get shot down immediately. I hate these meetings. I never have anything worthwhile to say and feel that my attempts at a dissertation are futile. Keep in mind, however that I'm not trashing my advisor. Not at all; I am the one that can't seem to get anything done. I wish someone would pick a topic for me – I'll hate end up hating one I initially liked anyway – If I work on anything too long, it gets old. Really, really old.

I'm frustrated at myself. Now I'm frustrated that can't keep from being frustrated at myself. I have a really, really bad attitude about grad school right now. So bad, that I'm not even sure it is wise to meet with my advisor. I'm afraid that I'll say that I don't care about any of this stuff and that dissertations are pointless. Or that I'll say that I haven't done anything and not sound like I feel bad about it. Probably not a wise decision.

I wonder if I can get away with studying graduate students anxiety who continually procrastinate on their dissertations and how effective ice cream therapy is as a coping strategy. Mmm, ice cream.