Got the revisions back from the paper I sent on Monday. Actually, I got them on Wednesday but didn't open the attachment (avoid, avoid, avoid). Of course, I had some "logic issues". Don't I always! I never seem to explain things clearly. Or I connect things in my mind without writing them down. At least I got something done…I guess. It seems like little consolation when I have to rework my whole mini-proposal. This is one of the days that I want to get a job and forever be ABD. I know I'd regret it later, though.
The thing is, this is not the first time I've had to do major revisions. I often do, actually. Especially when it's the beginning of a new project. It's just that this time I actually thought it was good. Damn. I never think it is good. When I do, and it's not, it sucks.
This is the thing that discouraged me from going academic – the endless revisions. And the "publish or perish" thing. And the low pay. I don't want to do this for the rest of my life. I want to actually finish things. Even if a paper gets done and published, there's always the next article to write on the subject. No thanks.
I wish I could get these hypotheses settled and work from there. I don't like working from my advisors paper – even though I like the idea and it's a good paper. It's a little nerve-wracking to write about someone else's findings as a way to provide evidence for your hypotheses. I guess it's good for clarification, but I'm always afraid I'll be wrong about the interpretation.
Well, I should keep forcing myself to do this. My strategy right now is to write the first thing that I think of when I read his comments as a comment of my own. It might be a defense of my argument, or what I need to do to answer the question. It would probably be faster just to do the changes, but that seems overwhelming right now. At least I feel like I'm working on something.
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