I haven't gotten a chance to work on my dissertation at all this week. I've been sick, and then I had outlines to grade. My great aunt passed away. I cancelled my meeting with my advisor because I hadn't gotten a chance to work on it. He responded by telling me to set some concrete goals to share with him. Not sure what to tell my advisor; just that I'm doing what I can do right now? That I've been trying to work on it every day and that's the best I can do? I've not made much measurable progress (not that I could show anyone anyway – random scribbles, lit review outlinish thing) but I feel like I can actually work on it. Not much, but I can.
I feel like everything is an excuse. That my concentration sucks, my great-aunt died (not especially close to her, but still made me sad), I had outlines to grade, that I'm not sleeping/eating well, that dissertation scares me, that I don't believe that I'll ever finish it. It is hard to admit to myself that I'm not doing as well as I should be. Telling other is even harder.
It sounds like I've got a lot of issues – which I do. I don't think this is what he had in mind when taking me on as an advisee. I know this is not what I had in mind.
1 comment:
I hope you successfully get out of this rough patch soon!
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