Humor is a wonderful thing. It can make tense situations less tense, awkward moments less awkward, and embarrassing moments less embarrassing. It is also a way to laugh at ourselves, to be self-deprecating is to call out our faults first to be sure that no one else does. We laugh.
Humor is necessary for life; for getting along with others. Be being funny we can deflect serious events or feels like they are no big deal. If others think those things are no big deal, it makes it no big deal to us, right? Right?
Sometimes, not so much. Sometimes we ache to tell and show others how much things hurt, how alone we feel, how much we want to just be held. It is inappropriate to tell others this, or we are afraid to tell people things without a humorous component. So people kind of know what is going on, but believe it doesn't really affect us, that we truly feel as nonchalant as we tell people. And a confession of hurt + a touch of humor makes people less concerned. We want people to know what is going on, to understand the turmoil inside of us...but don't want to scare them off or to cause worry.
We smile when we tell others, crack a joke and move on in the conversation. No one stops it or questions how you felt or if they do, we say it is no big deal, it happened so long ago, it doesn't affect me now. While that is certainly true about some things, other things we are not so forthcoming. There are things that people should know about that we never talk about. things that will make others understand us more, that will explain some of our jacked-up behaviors. There is so much fear that others will find out and we will be looked at differently forever. That we will be looked at with pity, or we will be seen as damaged.
It is difficult to tell someone when we aren't doing so well without bumming them out or making them worry. Even if it is worthy of worrying.
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