Not doing that very well right now. totally avoiding the thought of dissertation. Have eaten so much crap today, I've probably gained 5 lbs. On 2nd little bag of cheetos. Don't know what to do. ok, i know exactly what to do; it just makes me too nervous to do it.
Also, there is a great deal of uncertainty in my life right now. I can't think of anything that I'm absolutely 100% certain of. Nothing. That's scary as hell. Not one thing. I could view it as exciting (if i were an optimist) and an opportunity. But right now, i just feel like I'm aimlessly floating around, going in no particular direction. Little things, big things, it doesn't matter. I'm unsure about what to do. Sometimes it makes me want to jump back into bed...although I'd get really bored :) i generally need to do something more active, like run. Currently watching Scrubs - not exactly motivating me to do anything else. I should go to my office, starbucks, borders. Anything but sit here and eat cheetos. It's pathetic.
i always hated people with endless excuses. Coworkers, teammates, students. Excuses, excuses, excuses. Now i feel like I'm one of those people - trying to explain mediocre work all of the time. I need to focus, get into stuff. it works better that way; if i can shake off this insecurity and anxiety. But for now at least, more cheetos. Yum.
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