When life doesn't go as we'd planned, it is difficult, disappointing, sad, etc. I've lived long enough and gone through enough stuff to believe that everything works out in the end. I applied to graduate school for 2002. I applied to 4…did not get into any. Second time around, after taking some grad classes as a non-degree student, I got into a top-ten program – something I never imagined would happen. In this instance, things worked out much better than I thought they would. And I am happy that I went through that. I could have quit. But I didn't – I wanted this too bad. Even though I might sound jaded at time, I remember how hard I fought to be here.
Perhaps it is the same with love. When we are hurt, deeply hurt and wounded, when our hearts are raw and bleeding, it is very difficult to believe that you'll ever heal. Or that you'll find anyone else that you'll care about as much. Or that anyone else will feel about you that way. Others tell us that we will; that there is someone out there for us. Of course, no one knows this for certain. Giving that advice usually means that we do not know what else to say to that person to make them feel better. And when on the receiving end of this phrase, it is very easy to discount this. No one else could possibly fit better than him/her.
That may actually be true; we might never find 'the one'. In fact, is there just one person that is made for us? Or are there multiple people we are compatible with? I used to think that there is one person we were meant to be with. Now…not so much.
It is hard to let go, to move on. It is hard to allow ourselves to feel for others again. It is hard to be vulnerable again, to let someone else in. To trust that person with your emotions, your proverbial "heart". It is hard to allow ourselves to consider ever being in a relationship again after a really good one ends.
I certainly hope that I eventually find one of the "the ones". However, I think I could be happy without this. I have so many wonderful people in my life; friends and family. I love life. All of it, even the bad stuff. Why? The bad stuff often shapes us as people. Those struggles we have make us stronger, more resilient. They open our eyes to different perspectives, to understand others better. This is going to sound cheesy, but I believe that the more we understand each other the more we can love, to connect with our fellow man/woman. Often, people don't listen to what others have to say; just rely on stereotypes. Just be open, listen to each other. We may not agree with each other, and that's ok. But if we can get an idea of where someone is coming from, we can understand. Often, our core ideals are similar, regardless of religious affiliation or political party. World peace, a cure for cancer, etc. All that good stuff. We just have different ideas on how to get these things.
